Life

oh ya , I have a very bad nightmare these days

why ?

dunno , maybe I sleep too much ?!

haha

there's a night where i cant fall asleep and I thought of this question

If somehow I got to know I have fatal disease , what will I do ?

I dunno why , but at that moment , I'd chose to leave it .....

I dun think I gonna waste lots of money to cure it ...

I dunno why I was so pessimistic that time .

I know that's not right ,

I chose to think in that way because I know it's not easy to earn money.

my mum always say she's so burdening ...

she wasted so much money yet she still cant be a normal person ...

I always comfort her saying that ,

life's always great for her ,

having an awwesome son and daughter ...

but she's still very mind that she used up lots of money on her illness ...

so when the same thing is going to happen on me , what will I do ?

please allow me to choose to end up everything like this

I dun wan my family to waste so much money on me again

I wan my daddy and mummy can enjoy life ,

i dun wan to become their burden anymore ...

to take care a long term patient is not so easy as you see ...

I've seen how my daddy take care my mummy

and I've seen the power of love in my family

I've seen the courage my mummy have in facing all these ...

I've seen how my dad willing to forgo everything and took one whole year leave to take care my mum ...

I've seen how my brother grown up without any guidance

I've seen how my brother protect me , teaching me to learn independence

when he was only 13 years old , and I was only 8 years old ...

sometimes , my friends will say I think too much , I care too much ...

but if you were grown up in this type of family background , you will know my feelings ...

I was told to protect myself when I was only 8 years old ...

sometimes you may say I am too protective over myself or I don't trust people easily ...

but all these were trained when I was only 8 years old ...

why am I so negative ? why cant I be a bit more optimistic ?

because I've seen the most negative side of my life

I am scare that the same things gonna repeat

and I dun wan them to replay ....

People with different characters came across difference backgrounds , different lifestyles .

If you want to know more about them , please talk to them with your true heart .

They will know .