Holiday

This holiday is extraordinary unhappy .
I din know why ...but I hate the bored days I had ...


the activities I did the most is sleep ...sleep ...sleep ....SLEEP ...
yea ~ I can sleep a lot ...because i love to sleep ~~~~


friends that are not in holiday are so busy recently ...
so I din contact them ...but waiting for their msg everyday ...=.=''' BORED ...


the CFAB-ians are also so quiet ...maybe everyone has their own activities ...
so ..left me ...BORED


but something do motivate me for the whole week ! yeah , the outing , the dinner !
planning for an outing ...
but at last ....
they disappointed me ...
so.....uncontrollable emotions came ! and I get mad !
yeah ~ extremely angry these days ....
all of them were shock ---- why I had such a big reaction , because it's just a small case ...
which I don't think so ...


the words that they sent in the msg ....
is freaking HURT !!!!!!! but they din know ...
so ....what to do .....their thinking , we can't changed .


I kept thinking , and reflects myself , did I over-react ?
why I had these anger ....
the words are not striking myself ...
but I'm just angry ...angry ....for their attitude ? maybe ....but I'm not sure ...



I care more about you , you .......youshouldknowwhoyouare ........
because I scared to lose you as my true friend ....
why I say so .... **there is always a reason behind** ...
yeap ....coz I can feel the distance ....

fear fear fear....
I can't afford to lose anyone of you ...
the bad experience I had in my secondary schooldays....
made me lost confidence in my friendship
I can't take it anymore ....can't ...


you know the story behind ...
and you should know what am I thinking ...
friends are extremely important to me ....
and you , you , you ~
you are important to me too ...<3


I care too much , and that's why I hurt myself ?
I share my stories with you all the time ,
and I've gain the confidence when I'm with all of you ...
the happiness and the stupidity we had ,
and the moment we spent together ,
make me feel that I'm save in the ship ,
It wouldn't sink anymore , I'm saved !
I can feel that , I get the right choice.....


but now ...
now ....


I'm scared ,
I panic ...
I'm nervous ....
I'm worry ....
I felt it this going to sink ?????
because I don't want anyone of you to leave me ....


I'm selfish ? maybe ...
selfish for my own friends ,
I willing to do that ....
just blame me , I'm SELFISH ~


you read the post
maybe you're thinking something , which I don't know ...
but I've already did what I managed to ...
to move a big step forward , to lend my hand out ...
hoping there's some wood or trunks
or your hand .....
to avoid me from drowning in the sea ...


I've tried my very best to do everything ....
=) I'll attend that event . thank you .


p/s
--- chat with Jack , you make my mind clear , thank you .
and I know I should continue to contribute my effort .
You make me feel that I'm not alone , coz you have the same thinking with me ? O.o
haha ~

--- chat with wen hui last time , she did say lots of my personalities which I din realize ...
lolx ~ wen hui , thank you . You analyzed everything well for me . and don't scare to lose me , I'm will not let you go ~ =p




friends are the ones that I care the most and I loves the most .
that's you , everyone that reading my super-long post =p