Disclosed

thanks for the post you wrote for me

but well , here are the words for you too .

you knew that for such a long time , u aren't put down everything

but now , you declare that you already let it go

and this sentence , you repeated for don't-know-how-many-times

you will say this out , cause you haven't ensure that whether you are or you aren't

but just to make yourself /convince yourself to believe that you are okay .

in fact , you are notsookay .

from the acts that yourself doing now , you will know that , something going on now is super weird

but still you want it to be in this way .

well , to declare here that , i'm totally okay without your influence .

thing comes and goes everyday , i couldn't just stay there and go round with you .

my life is not special for him or you , it's for me, myself .

you are the one who majoring everything , well , and i don't want to care anymore .

i'm going on with my own track and no one can bring me out of the track .

you want the game to be over or continue , is up to you .

but i'm not going to play around , but I'm still there to answer any of your questions you want .

that's all I can do =)

Pt and sickness

my pt ....

well , i passed my Law paper >.<'''/

but BF is much more better =)

i know i have to work more on law but i really don't know what're my problems >

i just cannot understand them well and remember all the exceptions =(((

and this week is totally "holymamahceesycow" week !!!!!!

my sickness never go away !!!!!

argh ~~~~ it comes and goes , again and again !!!!!

i hate this !!!!

sorethroat , cough !!!!

i'm going to die because of non-stop coughing ~ =[

the more i want to concentrate in class , the more sleepy I am ~

yiiiish ! god bless me then ^^

PT1 Law and BF

omg omg omg !

tomorrow having PT1 for both Law and BF !!!!!

total 8 chapters !!! and we started our class for 2 weeks only >.

so so so many things to memorise and understand ! >.<

argh argh !!!!!!

well .....shouldn't i be studying now ????

oooopppss !

*shh*

sorethroat and headache !!!! YOU go away !!!

don't attack my body cells !!!!!

CFAB-ians , good luck to us !!!!

掙扎

朋友， 和你談了好多好多

第一次， 談天可以令我回想起我的過去，

啊。。。亂！

除了亂之外， 還有一絲絲令人心麻的感覺。。。

你說的很對， 你也很清楚我現在是什麼樣的情況

在我還不能搞清楚的當兒， 其實你已經把事情的全部都看得一清二楚了

我感到很愧疚， 很對不起你

是真的， 我真的不知道要怎麼去處理這下事情

你說過， 我從來不會終止每一個人對我的期望

對， 因為我真的不想要傷害你們其中一個

但是自己也知道這樣的方法是不對的。。。

太對不起大家了。。。

而你， 是當中最特別的一個

我不知道怎麼去形容

但是你應該也懂吧。。

你說對了太多太多

連我自己也不想面對的問題， 一一從你口中拋了出來

我真的不會答， 因為我知道我的答案， 傷害的不只是你， 而是我自己。

如果他回來， 我會怎樣？

如果有一天他做同樣的東西， 我會怎樣？

如果那個人不是你， 我會怎樣反應？

如果次序掉亂了， 情況是什麼？

如果。。。。

如果。。。。。。。

太多了，

這些問題， 我很不想回答

但是你知道， 只要我回答， 我就不會在繼續掙扎

繼續讓自己辛苦下去

這些答案， 還有用嗎？

你現在已經有了答案對吧

我不值得你在為我付出了。。。

不是一個值得投資的對象

太多掙扎， 太複雜的關係

我不知道這樣的情況會持續多久

但是我也知道我不開始新的生活， 我是不會走出這個困局

可笑的就是， 我不想在被傷害了。。。

我也不想對不起任何一個人。

當兩個都很理智的人在一起的時候

很多很多問題就會出現

而當我在問你那些奇怪的問題時

你也知道那是我多餘的憂慮。。。

安全感， 就是那麼的重要

我不能夠給你。。。

我也不能從任何一個人身上的到

因為問題就是在我身上

我本身就是一個問題。。。

被傷害的，

就是有了個陰影。。。。

那種痛的感覺， 令人害怕

那種被指指點點的感覺， 令人感到疼痛

那種被諷刺， 被攻擊的感受， 有誰會明白？

而我， 現在也知道

原來我一直都在欺騙著自己

在以為自己能夠接受新生活的時候， 才發現原來我是有問題的

問題根本就不是你， 他， 還是其他人， 就是我自己。。。。

他， 還是佔據了我心裡一定的地位。。。

你也說的對， 如果沒有蘋果的掉落，那麼就不會有地心引力的發現

同樣的， 如果我們不去嘗試， 那麼就不知道之情將會是怎樣。。。。

矛盾， 掙扎中。。。

我根本不知道自己想怎麼辦。。。。

對不起。。。。

Review of the week

hmm ....

i know i din blog for a long time , sorriee !

so , what you want to know about me huh ?

hmm.....college life would be the same ...law and business finance

oh ya , i haven't say anything about BF lecture .

our lecturer is a nice nice person ! and she's hilarious !!!

btw , BF is so much to memorize !

i dunno what i going to do to catch up , except to study and study >.<'''''

I DON'T LIKE STUDYING =(

well , back to my class .

yeap ! we had a surprise bday party for celia and reuben !

but , flour war instead of party , i guess ^^

luckily , i'm not "died" in the so-called-flour war !

happy birthday , celia and reuben !

CFAB awesome !!! =D

attended a meeting with cfab-ians at Starbucks @ The Gardens

we are going to have a toastmaster club ^^V

GREAT !

[ps , adam praise me !!!! ^^V happy !!!! ]

had a long long chatting with weng yin that day ...hmm ...is a heart-to-heart talking

[ i nearly bang to the toll gate and i almost lost my car park ticket !]

a simple yet meaningful week i had .

==good night==

*** having PTs on the coming saturday!***

calm !

yes !

i think i've succeed to ignore everything ....

*clapss*

i know you're trying hard to make some noise

but ...

look

i'm calm enough !

friends ,

I'm totally okay !

Jog For Hope

WHAT?

Jog For Hope is a charity run organized by the Tree Huggers Club of Taylors College Sri Hartamas. It is a fund-raising event, and all the funds collected will be directed to charity bodies.

Jog For Hope 2010 aims to
1. raise funds to build basic education facilities for the children in the village of Bario,Sarawak.
2. contribute to the causes Malaysia Paws Animal Welfare Society (PAWS).

WHEN?

Date: 18th July 2010
Time: Registration starts at 6.00AM, flag off at 8.00 AM

WHERE?

Flag off: Entrance of Taylors College Sri Hartamas
End point: Taylor’s College Sri Hartamas
Distance covered: 6 km and 9km depending on the category selected

WHO?

This event is open to all.

The categories* are :
1. School (Males) -6km
2. School (Females)-6km
3. College/Uni (Males)-6km
4. College/Uni (Females)-6km
5. Open (Males)**-9km
6. Open (Females)**-9km

* There will be a registration fee of RM 15 for the School category, RM20 for the College category, and RM30 for the Open Category. The sum of money collected will all be directed towards charity.
** Open Category: Applicable to all participants!

HOW?

Registration can be done in 3 ways :

1. registration on that day itself
2. registration through your college / high school
3. registration at spots mentioned.

For more information :
http://jogforhope.wordpress.com/registration/

PS : If you wish to support this event, but does not wish to run, we are also accepting cash donations. (:
--

Recruiters! ♥

We are also looking for recruiters to help out with our event!

what are recruiters? what do they do?

PLEASE CLICK ON THIS LINK FOR MORE INFORMATION (:

http://jogforhope.wordpress.com/recruiters/

捐血

嗯。。。。。

好像回去捐血哦！！！

hmm .....

去年的捐血运动， 啊啊啊～ 好怀念哦！！！

哼 ！

他永远就只剩下可以令我怀念的地位了！

捐血！捐血！

别误会

我就只是想要捐血罢了^^

如果以后有机会， 一定会去捐血 ！

不说你不知，其实捐血对身体是健康的！

大家请记得， 助人为快乐之本！

捐血！！！

Law class

today was our 1st class of law / 1st day of class for sem 2 !

er ......law ....law ...law ...

quite confusing actually

but is more on understanding and analysing ...story telling [ according to Ms Pushpa ]

urgh ~ okay ..i should pull my socks up ..work haaaarder !!!!!

okay ...

1st day of class should be exciting right ?

but is a bit bore + sleepy ....

or maybe I'm still not used to it ...

I talked not more than 10 sentences today !!!! >.

wish i could talk more ..but i cant ! haha !

I need some time to warm up [lame !]

oh ya !!!!!

kah mun changed her hairstyle ! LOL

i really cant recognized her !!!!

1st i saw her walking to me , while smiling ..

then i was wondering : who is this gal smiling at me ...why her face so familiar one !

haha !!!!!

OKAY , it's Kah Mun !

haha !!!!

[ sorry , kah mun ] xD

another scene is , our class combined with the BDO group students ,

which means we are having a bigger class now compared to last sem ...

about 30+ students in a class ....

I miss the old times ....

I miss muzzakir !!!! [ he had gone to INTEC ] =(

hmm ..tomorrow i'm having another law class !!!

er .......i should study now right ? if not ............

I will just wondering in the cloud when lecturer is explaining =.='''

Filter

listening songs

staying alone late at night / early in the morning

hmm .....

nothing interrupt my mind

silence

keeps my mind calm

makes me think

mmm.....

crying couldn't solve it

blaming couldn't help

what i need is time

time heals everything ?

I need my brain to function

function as a filter

filters everything that hurts me ....

*** filtration in process***

mmm ......

feel fresh now ?

yeap ...

then ?

sleep now !!!!!!

good night !!!!

Review

3 weeks holidays had already over ...

class will start tomorrow !

hmm ....

this was really a bore holiday i had ...

Genting trip would be my only memory ...

thank you , guys and gals .

hmm ..went up to broga hill last saturday again ...

== nothing else to elaborate on that ==

chatted with KA just now ...

i thought of many things ...

all these feelings i haven't tell anyone before , but him

but i'm still lost and confused ...

i wish i can be strong and tough .

i know i can , i can .

forcing myself to fake a smile isn't a good one

but this would be the only thing i can do

and to blindly believe in myself that i can

how stupid am i , huh ?

there're so many things that we cant control

but yet we have to accept it ...duh ~

just like to be myself more than to follow the others ....

forgive me ..i'm not as what you expected ....

the feeling of insecure is always with me ...

I couldn't know when i will get back my sense of security ...

sighs

why the cycle just couldn't stop ...

please la ..nobody wants that to become like that ...

sighs

friends , let go everything will be the only choice

and you

stop saying that

and playing safe

you're out of my sight

what am I doing right now is none of your business

let go everything

let us go

please ...

Genting trip

^^V finally i came here to post on my Genting trip .

due to laziness , this post has been postponed for 2 days .

sorrriieee =(

27 June 2010 (off to Genting)

okay ...early in the morning , take KTM with LB to MV , to meet up with CJ .

then he picked us up to 1U . Sorry CJ .

meet up with all the cfab-ians at Old Town .

bus depart from 1U at 11.00 pm .

all the way up the genting hill was quiet ....hmm ...haven't warm up yet , maybe .

queuing for the skyway (cable car) was a torture to me ..luggage ..yiish ....

me and danny are afraid of the cable car ...so ...*breathe breathe*

finally we reached ..and then checked in , settled room problem ...

me , carmen , shih xuan , jie yi , CJ , danny , and reuben are in the same room ^^V

We went makan at the foodcourt in First world . after that , outdoor theme park !!!!

but the weather wasn't good . it rains and was misty ..so we couldn't play . tooks few photos and we went back to our room .

have fun teasing danny , danny PAPA !!!! ^^

waited the rain stop and the weather was suitable , me , carmen , Shih Xuan , Jie yi and CJ went out to have fun again ^^V

I guess we are the lucky ones , why ?

because every games that we played ,we didn't need to wait for long queues !!!!! hahax ^^

so lucky !!!!

haha ~

haha , sg rejang flume ride was fun ,but as the results , we got wet >.<''' freezing !!!!

actually I was fear of that also , but carmen happened to be more *akhem *

haha ~ LOL !!!!!!

finally , me , CJ and carmen went for Private Ship , but Xuan and Jie yi didn't want to play . so they took photo for us ^^ thank you .

after theme park activity , we met up with Danny and reuben , and head towards first world hotel to have our dinner .

chit-chatted a lot ..^^

for your info , 27 June was a date for world cup lovers ( germany VS Englang)

so so so ...i followed the crowed to hotel loby and watch for that match .

hahas , for my very 1st time , enjoying the atmosphere there ^^

midnight , waken up by the guys , and watched another match at mamak ...

i don't like the place there ..is smoky ....

but we didn't stay there for the whole match , only for 45 minutes and we went back to hotel .

=== good night ===

28 June 2010

climbed to the other bed to sleep (sorry CJ )

cause , my neck was supremely pain >.<'''

blurred for the whole morning till 11 am

haha ~ old town for breakfast .

again , we are in the same table (roommates)

hahas ^^

today was an unplanned day .... so so so ...jie yi and xuan went for buy tickets for us and shopped around in first world .

me and carmen decided to walk around in first world ( to visit another starbucks) while the others are playing cards and having coffee time ^^

**akhem akhem **

i was pranked !!!!! aaaaaaaaargh ~~~

fine , it was fun ^^

it was embarrassed to say it out loud here ...by myself @.@

i received a called form "Sunway-TES" and being informed that i have to switch to batch 3 , because I was offered a national scholarship , and i'm going to get a car and a bungalow .

hahas , actually , this prank call was from AIRIL !!!! LOLx ....

thank you , airil , muzz and darren !!!!!

although it was a prank , but it made my day ^^

we met up with them at the brigde . watched ip man with them ^^

It was a nice show!!!! like the child at the end part of the movie .

after that , continued with A-team !!!

It was indeed a hilarious and awesome movie .^^

planned to watch toy story 3 with muzz them , but , i'm too tired after 2 movies .

went for dinner with carmen , CJ , Crys , Rueben and hang ee.

then ...back to our room .

spent the whole night at the other room with everyone , playing KING , truth or dare .

proudly announced that the guys in our class are all turning gays ...hahas!

many secrets revealed that night , but "what happens in genting stays in genting right? "

haha ~ no worries .

the day ended at 4.30 am ^^

=== good night ===

29 June 2010

this was the last day of our trip

old town for breakfast again and we lepak at the park until it was time to back .

tooks lots of photo there ^^

3.30 pm , cable car again >.<'''

but this time was more fun , because we were singing along untill we reached ^^

hahas , everyone was tired and sleep in the bus .

sharp at 5 , we reached 1U .

ended our genting trip .

thank you CJ for sending me and lb back .

sorry for the inconveniences .

This trip was really a nice trip and we know each other well after the trip !

love cfab-ians !!!!

thank you everyone ! you're just awesome !!!!!!

( photos in FB ) checked it out , and you will know i enjoy my trip ^^