Sometimes when we touch by Olivia Ong

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
Id rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
In what you say or do
Im only just beginning
To see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honestys too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through all the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
Im just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honestys too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times Id like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times Id like to break through
And hold you endlessly
At times I understand you
And I know how hard you try
I watched while love commands you
And Ive watched love pass you by
At times I think were drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honestys too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold ya till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides
Subsides

This is life

wondering why everyone there is a period where bad things happened to me

and that was my super emo period ='(

Found out that actually I wasn't as tough as last time

I hate myself being so weak at all times

being so weak isn't a bad thing if there are someone beside you

but there's no one beside me

='(

sighs , this is life .

July July

July sneaked in and same goes to my ICAEW July time table is already out...

meaning ? meaning college life gonna start soon

as in few days more ='(

not to say that I'm so lazy to start schooling ...

yet ,telling that I'm not lazy is a lie ,

but saying I am eagerly wanna start this new sem is still another lie

heheeee

but this holiday was the sad-est holiday I ever had .

wish someone could be here to cheer me up , as much as possible .

may you ?

July July , so fast you came by

and believe me you will invite august in soon ....

I miss my college friends

I miss all my lovely high school friends

some of them are leaving to overseas soon ,

meaning I'm not gonna meet them at least in 2 years time ?

=(

sad sad sad sad ....

today saw a status from wei chien soh ,

saying he is now on flight to US

hate him ! stole my chance to saying a goodbye to him

='(

hmm ....mmm.....mmmm.......

he is back on twitland

:)

Life Goes On

I believe June is a tough month to me , and my family ....

Please don't ask whether I am okay

what I will tell is I'm okay

in fact ,

I know I'm not .

Appreciate

has been quite a long time I din blog here .

and now , after struggling and I decided to blog on some feelings .

tears are flowing down when I heard the song amazing grace playing .

Lots of unfortunate events happened recently and they hit me hard .

I don't know how to describe my feelings but knowing I have lost myself .

first up with the death of my grandma ,

followed up with the death of my friend's brother .

I cant calm myself down every time I think of them .

I miss my grandma , I miss her much ....

I cant accept the death of my friend's brother ....

my grandma passes away , it took me more than a week to calm down myself

to accept the fact that she left ....

and when I was starting to cheer myself up , another bad news hit me

at this moment , I have nothing much to say

Life is so fragile , people are so fragile ,

we are not as tough as we can see .

appreciate life , appreciate friends around you .

and to me , friends' support is very important and thus ,

no matter what I will show support to my friends .

me as a friend to hao fu , I've already done my best ,

show him that we're here to support him , as always .

We need friends , we need family .

nothing will torn us apart .

I know everything will be fine , but at this moment of time , I know I'm not .

what I need is time .

it takes time to heal this , which I dun know how long will it take .

Rest In Peace

刚刚出席了豪政的追思会。

心里感触良多。

泪水不受控制的留下。

听着倪父叙说儿子的生涯 ，

看见豪政的亲戚朋友们都为他撒下泪水， 不禁心疼了一阵

看见倪父和倪妈为孩子的去世，留下的泪水，爱莫能助

只能够在旁，给予豪户精神上的支持。

加油吧。

豪政，一路好走， 平静的回到主的身旁。

请尊重

不幸的消息传来， 心里一阵寒了。。。

他， 应该是我朋友的弟弟。

突然， 心疼了起来， 想起他的家人的感受

不禁眼泪流了下来。

心情才慢慢的平复下来， 死讯有在传入耳里

死者已矣， 就别在意见那么多。

我们能够办到的， 就是尊重死者。

相信大家都明白这个道理吧。

旁人别再说是谁的不是， 是谁处理不妥当。

有关的人， 自己应该得到自己良心的责备。

无论他们口中向大众报道的， 与正真发生的事情， 是否正确， 就只有他们心里自己知道

那么多个版本的故事， 能够相信哪个？

有哪个人不是先保着自己的名誉？ 有哪个校长不保着自己学校的名誉？

丧子之痛， 有谁能够承受的住？

试想想， 当你完全不知道孩子事前发生的事情， 突然收到校方拨打的电话要见家长。

但是， 当你抵达校园的时候见到的，就只剩下那冷冰冰，孩子的尸体。

试问，谁能够接受这个事实？

恳请大家别再面子书上在说什么不珍惜生命。

我们不是他， 我们不能够在我们的角度评论任何事情。

尊重， 尊重， 还是尊重。

生命就是如此的脆弱。

节哀顺变。

不议论什么， 只想留给他一个不被评论的空间。

外婆

外婆的去世，带来了好多好多戏剧性的发展。

出殡当天，泪水流个不停。

家里实在发生了太多事情

身为小一辈的我们，不能够说些什么

唯有在这个时候学习看清每个人的性格

知道什么应该做， 什么不应该该做。。。。。

外婆的离去，就好像心里被刀割了一下，心里的血 ，流个不停。

在去世前的几个星期， 外婆都在痛苦中度过

与病魔挣扎， 没办法安安乐乐的享受晚年。

身为孙女的， 没办法是她好过些， 只能够眼巴巴的看着她与病魔挣扎

只能在旁安慰她，告诉她别担心家里的事情。。。。

那种感觉谁能够了解？

还记得小时候，外婆怎样照顾我

还记得小时候，外婆教会我煎鸡蛋

还记得小时候，外婆牵着我的手，带我上学

还记得小时候，外婆抓着我的手教我写生字。。。。

这一切一切， 都还在我的脑海里， 一清二楚。。。。。。。。

很惭愧，在我还没有机会报答外婆之前，外婆已经离我而去

我还能够为她做些什么呢？

我责怪自己没有常常探望外婆

我责怪自己不够细心

我责怪自己没有好好报答外婆

如今这一切已经太迟了。。。。

心里知道外婆最担心的就是舅舅

所以我，一定会好好照顾舅舅，

更加的照顾他的儿子， 明俊， 别让外婆担心。

外婆的离去，唤醒了我， 要更加珍惜身边的每个人

外婆，啊妮对不起您。

我一定会好好看着舅舅和明俊， 您不用担心了。

啊妮永远怀念您。

The last night of CFAB

CFAB has finally come to an end , with the final POT e-exam

(:

and my awesome classmate make a plan to go clubbing after that !

so where to go ?

Mist club @ Bangsar

everyone dressed up nicely

then 2 cars heading down to Mist.

we reached there quite early , around 1030

and we're kind of stoning inside ,

and don-know-what-to-do

then ...the girls came and meet up

around 1 am ,

woohooo ...the club hyped up

of course we'd hyped up =D

Let's the photos do the talking

(:

Pretty Jie Yi

Shih Xuan and Jie Yi

Eugene and Eunice

Shih xuan , Cecilia and Eunice

Liang Bin , Cecilia and Danny

Airil and Eugene

Reuben , Derrick and the girls

and me !

heeheeeee :)

Final

preparing for the final on friday ?????

yup .....oowh ....Not really :s

macam mana ni ????

hahahahahhaaaaa

seriously i have no mood to study for the paper .

before this , our tax lecturer mr simon gave lots of questions for us to do

but my marks scored are deteriorating =(

how how how?

sad case :(

one day left --- thursday

and the bad news is : exam is at 6pm friday !

how cool is that ='(

last class of CFAB

aww...last class of CFAB ended .

now we're waiting for the finals to end as well !

jia you CFAB batch 2 !

we will ace the paper together aite????

:)

hmm ...last class of tax ended with a 1 hour-pork mee

*quoted from carmen low*

heheeee !

yup , super nice port mee at Subang Square ! should go and try it !

well , super funny moments when we're driving to subang and I am the joker .

LOL

alalalaalalaaa , dun la like that ,

I know I'm FUNNY sometimes ! :p

so our class decided to go xxxx this friday !

as our so called "graduation"

@.@

heheee ,

stay tuned !

CFAB

having short classes these days .

what do I mean by short classes ?

well , the super good lecturer mr simon only gave us exercise every class

and we can ciao once we had finished the questions .

nice righttt?

recently my class got a lil bit issue where I dun want to get involve in it .

hope everything is okay .

:)

CFAB gonna end ,

well ,

2moro is the last day of class in CFAB.

what stands for CFAB ?

Certificate in Finance , Accounting and Business .

don't ask me again , kayys ?

one and a half year in CFAB , chilling and mixing around with the CFAB-ers're awesome !

you people are awesome yo !

make me smile all the time , and I think I'm the well-known emo girl in the class .

sorry la peeps ,

I'll try to change myself and let everyone know the crazy Jia Ping , okays ?

I have my non-biological twin - carmen low

I have my sisterss - crys , cecilia , kah mun , jie yi , shih xuan

I have my daddykins and mummykins - eugene and eunice

aww ...

and of course the gentlemen derrick , danny , reuben , hang ee , airil , liang bin etc etc .

Family members are linked forever right ?

please don't leave me alone , thanks .

love y'all

Updates

oh yeah ! pass my mock with a satisfying marks .

*because I din really study much*

thank god !

:)

grandma's condition is still not stable , admitted to ICU for one week dy .

family drama was the painful part , but , I doubt this gonna end .

Aunt get pissed off and decided to fly back to HK .

*who's gonna take car grandma then?*

how ? how ? how ?

Grandma

grandma was admitted to hospital

and isn't a health issue alone

family dramas came in and more complicated problems arose

i'm not in the right position to voice out anything else

sighs

wish everything will be okay .

*******************

grandma , I love you .

you take care of me since I'm 10-month-old .

now you're sick and I couldn't do much except to watch you suffer .

what I can do is to feed you , and to make you feel a lil bit more comfortable

now a tough war between you and the virus and for sure ,

we're at your back , support you all the time .

be tough , grandma , fight the war !

is there any directory to your heart ?

gotta suffer for the next up exam .....thinking skills , gonna screw it only ....

oh , I MISS YOU

I gotta say it out loud loud loud !

if only you can hear it .

yea , I mean it.

Cause I see Sparks fly whenever you smile ?

PT2

alright , miracles happened

where I din study much on this PT

and I scored higher marks ?

dude ? something wrong with the system !

LOL

sighs , I exhausted to handle everything right now =/

things happened without any notifications

this is life .

stay strong .

family needs support from me .

Gastric

oh ya , y'day my gastric level upgrade till stomach cramp dy .

is this a good news ???

well , something wrong with me =(

and this ruined my study plan , and now I DUN WAN STUDY ANYMORE !

FAIL

Gahhh !

I DUN WAN TO STUDY FOR 2MORO'S PT2 , can I ?

all I want is to relax till the max !

can I

if only i fail the paper .

:(

...

ILAZAR LIRIA

BYE

should I study or not ?

GRRRrrrrr , dun wan to study !

BYE !

Cause I see Sparks fly

Cause I see sparks fly whenever you ------- SMILE !



should I , or should I not continue on this ?


oh , I dreamt about him for more than hundreds times


and and and I'll never felt bore when I'm with him


are these mean something ?


his smile is everything ,
and a lil eye contact will never fail to make me smile , as usual .


seriously , I need the smile NOW :)

the family

suddenly recalled what carmen told me y'day , she said :

eh eh , jp , still remember that day at the conference , when we're having buffet ...
when someone said that was kah mun's wedding dinner and we're sitting at the family table ...?

do you remember when eugene said : we sure will be invited dy , we are FAMILY dy maarrr !

haha ! yup , carmen , I'd remember ,
and both of us like the FAMILY words .

<3 them !


although one year ain't long , but we'd build our own friendship , ah , should be family-boat !
we will never break apart in the future , aite ?

untitled

done with the TS presentation !
hmm ...I will say , not bad la .

well , the other groups did well also .
especially the best speakers group .
@reuben @airil @danny @liang bin

hmm ...class went well with awesome lecturer , mr simon .
who taught us financial tips every class .

and due to everyone has a sleepless night y'day ,
so he decided to eand class earlier .
=D

but , our pt2 is on next week tuesday .
haha , bless me ,
i wont fail .

The anger =p

well , today is kinda of relief , while y'day was a burst !

why ?

because of the fcuking lecturer .
the stupid thinking skills lecturer .

well , I'm tired and sick talking about him .
but i'm gonna post one comment from me , which says everything :

" He got problem izit , cant it be abit peaceful ? what sorta of things he is thinking , wanna proof to the world that he is he best ? f*ucking shit , go die and no one will mourn for him ! dun even step into our class and make our class dirtyla PLEASEEE ! "

HAHAHAHAHAHAH !

I burst into laughter straight when I press "ENTER" ,
and I was like " wow , jia ping is on fire"

but in fact , no no , I wasn't .

LOL

people chill , when Jia Ping is really angry , she won't talk a single word .

and and and

this f*ucking dumbass shitty idiot , doesn't worst my time and energy to get angry .

LOL

OOooooopppssss ! I'm being mean here .

okay , why would us being so pissed about him ?
because he is too EGO .
3 letters speak the truth !

and y'day night , thw whole fb was full of cursing comment to this Mr. S .
hahahahahaha !

but he looks okay today , meaning , the curses didn't hit him then .

HAHAHAHAHAH

bye , no more touching on this topic ever .

爱情

hello everyone ,
before i start blogging ,
I want to share this blog post to all of you .

This is written by one of my best friend .

我们的一生人都在寻找爱。
在寻找爱的过程当中，我们会遇见3个人，
第一个是你最爱的人，
然后是最爱你的人，
最后是和你共度一生的人。

首先会遇到你最爱的人，然后体会到爱的感觉，
因为了解被爱的感觉，所以才能发现最爱你的人。

当你经历过爱人与被爱，学会了爱，才会知道什么是你需要的，
也才会找到最适合你，能够和你共度一生的人。

但很悲哀的，在现实生活中，这3个人通常不是同一个人。

你最爱的，往往没有选择你；
最爱你的，往往不是你最爱的；
而最长久的，偏偏不是你最爱也不是最爱你的，
只是在最适合的时间出现的那个人。

对我来说，爱情没有爱不爱，只有适合不适合，
适合了才去爱，还来得及；
爱了才去推断适合不适合，那就太迟了。

by James Leong

YOU

wondering what time will I sleep today =/

gonna be a long long night .

oh ya

I want YOU

Conference

went to the Conference on tuesday .

Gah~ is not an interesting event laaaa ...

i duno what they talking about throughout the whole conference LOL

what I really enjoy was spending my time with all my classmates !

having buffet lunch is just like a good party for us !

I think we're the only table who ate and talk , schoooo happy !

hahahahhahaa

then then then

had dinner @pizzahut in pyramid . I just like the way we hang out .

hope everything will go fine this friday .

sighs , suddenly not in the mood to type anything ....

It's never easy to set boundaries

well , sometimes .

or

always ?

why I came out with this status on FB

hahah , the same-old-reason

people always tend to console themselves that everything gonna be okay

everything will be like the old times

but

do you think this is true ?

how can it be OKAY when you yourself are forcing yourself to pretend to be okay ?

look , " PRETEND " , if is pretend , then will it be okay ?

if is PRETEND , or ACTING like oldtimes , do that really the oldtimes ?

oldtime only happened once , that's it . no more duplicated "oldtimes"

now , do you get what I meant ?

when people say , dun bother about it , forget about it ! do you really can forget everything happened ?

hahahaha , people just like to fool themselves , like everyday , every minute , every second ?

the best way tp "forget" everything is , you will never recall any feelings when you recall the events happened .

the moment you realized that "I have already forgot that incident " , that's the moment you're lying . because you've already recalled it .

BLUR ??????

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

so do I

I've finished raging .

crack your own brain and try to figure out what have I type .

LOL

Changed

went to a so-called meeting ( for the conference ) on thursday night ....

hmm ....

me and carmen left the meeting before it ended , why ?

well , it's not my business at all and why I still stayed it ?

not worth my time , right ?

sitting down at the foyer , and start chatting with carmen , as usual ...

and we kinda of figured out that ,

people changed , when we're in the different stages of life.

to be honest , to be true , I'm gonna type it out here ( not considering who gonna read this )

well , this is my blog , right ?

I told carmen ,

I felt that our batch's people changed ,

quite a lot after the interns

not the changes in our friendship ,

we're still closed to each other ,

or event closer =)

but in fact , everyone thinks differently compared to last time ,

or can I said more mature ?

awww , sounds so OLD .....

no no no , we're teens right ?

hmm .....

what's the proof , you would ask me ...

let's see ....

as simple as this ,

we are now dare to boycott a lecturer and this is quite serious as its happened in college !

and we're not that pure innocent little spm leavers that just enter into college and so new to everything .

we used to be so enthusiasm in all these events , but now ? "I-PULL-OUT" words are coming out from carmen (FYI , carmen is a quiet innocent girl :p )

MONEY is a very big motivation now !

and I'm sure , everyone in our class is thinking of how to make more money .

and this concept will only appear in the class rep's mind last year , well before interns started.

maybe at this stage , everyone knows what is the most important assets for oneself and started to set aims and goals , try to achieve that in the shortest time .

well , I admit all that I mentioned are with me now , and always .

people changed , environment changed , friends changed ...

this is how the world works and people are born to adapt to the fast-changing environment .

if you cant , sorry , you're unqualified .......

came to unqualified ,

I'd mention that I'm unqualified .

I'm not talking nonsense .

it's 100% true .

why ?

because I'm incompetence in everything , included being myself .

and I know I will gonna take a long long time , to make myself qualified .

when will it be ?

Updates

continuing the post below ,

hey ,

I managed to pass my 1st Pt for tax !

er ...

nothing much to update recent life

kinda bored + assignment-day

thinking skills presentation this friday .

hope everything will be okay .

after this presentation then I will be finally free from thinking skills lecturer ......

wait i have final exam still =(

oh ya , going for a conference thingy this tuesday at KL

gonna be a whole-day event ,

where I have to wear FORMAL attire ...

*sien*

nothing much ...

still cracking my head off for the assignment =/

Raging

oh well , I should be studying right now

haha

cant stand the temptation to blog =p

arghh !

tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax tax

OK .

oh ya , today classmates spent the break time bitching about the stupid dumbass fella !

COOL right ?

imagine whole class bitching about him infront of tax lecturerrr !!!

*can you imagine the shittiness of him?*

the unqualified retarded Winnie

=(

bye !

bday marathon

yeap , as per title ,

I had a bday celebration marathon this few days

and

a super terrible accident nearly happenned

thank god , it doesn't =)

bday celebration to

@kian ann

@chuan da

@ sze ern

started off by the home visiting surprised celebration for KA

followed by chuan da & sze ern not-so surprised bday celebration at paparich !

=)

feel satisfied by recording all the funniest moments we spent together .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEEPS !

phail

I don't know what am I doing right now !

supposedly I should be studying right now

or .. same goes to days before .

what the hell am I doing ????

I'm so f*king crazy

I know there're something bothering me

but I couldn't identifying it clearly

being forgotten ?

the stupid thinking skills ?

will I fail my thinking skills ?

why should my thinking skill lect is the stupid dumbass fella ?

why so many assignments where marks are counted ?

why am I so insignificance ??

why am I so unqualified to be a CFAB student ?

why I choose this path ?

Is this what I really want ?

can I persuade ICAEW in the future ?

can I finished my studies smoothly ?

back to tax

why I don't understand tax ?

pt1 is 4 days later and why m i not studying tax ?

why m i so fail ?

I'm sure a failure

I'm such an insignificant person in the world

I'm so unqualified

I'm so PHAIL !

don't even know what I need right now

somebody can please make me clear who am I

and what the hell am I doing right now

Again

again , I'm blogging in this late midnight

nothing much gonna update you guys

well , boring days killed me

and I'm still alive and waiting for tomorrow's arrival

=.=/

I've made up a decision , to stay as quiet as I can

why ?

loads of reasons , and I dunno whether if it worth me to do so

but I've been trying hard and now I'm tire ...

I'm letting go

everything ....

everything ...

includes him ....

I need to mentally stop dreaming

scenarios of you and me together ,

because in the end ,

I know I'll be disappointed with the outcome .

#tumblr.

那个在外国留学的朋友

刚刚读了一位好友的部落格

突然很有感触呢...

很想念他,

真的很想念他的那种疯狂.

相当年,小学的时候就那么的疯狂!

歌咏,

4B - 6B 班的回忆

直到中学,

st John 那时候更不用说

简直就是我们的辉煌时刻。

还有他很厉害烧BBQ鸡翅膀的！

一定要试吃！

HAHAHAHAHA！

嘉恒, 快点回来啊!

家屏姐超想念你的.

LOL

*不要误会嘛!

谢谢你把不开心的我,变回开心的我.

you sometimes think you want to disappear

but all you really want is to be found .

#Tumblr.

I miss you today

just like what I did yesterday

and just like I would tomorrow

#Tumblr.

I need trips

days are getting bore and boreeeeee ...

I want to have some tripsss

but

no trips planned =/

I miss you

That's all I needed to say

and

you wouldn't know ...

Soulmate

"because of you , I am afraid ..."

a song which reflects what my heart was thinking ...

and I posted this sentence on my fb status ....

here comes his comments :

me : I cant walk out of the past

Him : sometimes it's hard to stand up , but you just have to . to get rid of the last one , you must be willing to undergo the same situation with another . that's how you move on .

me : but I'm afraid ...

Him : That's just a part of it . What if something wonderful is ahead ? you wouldn't know . a risk you have to take

me : true , maybe I need someone turst-able to walk with me :)

Him: well , who do you trust ? hmm ....figure it out and make your move

me : sounds easy , but it's tough =)

THANK YOU

:)

# I trust you

Happy birthday

the luckiest guy born on 1st of May.

@teong hoe

:)

I wish I am Beautiful .

#Tumblr.

Lyrics

OKAYS.

enough of lyrics !

duhh ~~~~~

this shows how bored am I ! LOL

lame laaaaaa !!!!

=D

currently addicted to some oldies

heheeee :)