我是什么？

这篇就用话语来写吧！

嗯。。。

看见你们每个都生活的开开心心的， 心里都替你们感到安慰及心甜呢！

当每次这个问题涌上脑袋时

自己都不知要怎么选择。。。不知道怎么办才好

感觉好矛盾。。。。

不再是以前的问题， 而是现在面对着的， 等着我去解决的

但是我却不再像以往那样那么果断

怎么办呢？

回忆的当然会是美好的

但是人就是要看将来啊。。。

所以不再去在意什么过去！

大家开心就好=)

现在的生活， 不再是中学时期那校园范围以内的

当你慢慢的成长当儿， 你会发现原来世界是多大

社会里还有多少等着我们去发掘的事实

社会里有着不同性格， 不同个性的人

也会发现到原来自己很渺小

自己也只是一个 nobody而已。。。。

生活的程序越来越复杂

复杂的不是功课繁多， 不是什么guru disiplin 要你剪头发，spot check。。。。

复杂的是你要怎么去与人交流，

复杂的是你要怎么去解决一些尴尬的场面

复杂的是要怎么面对无形的压力。。。。

复杂的是要怎么拒绝，要怎么挽留一些你想要的人。。。。

长大了， 就会有不一样的需要

成长的过程中，就会面对不一样的挑战

一个又一个挑战， 随着岁月的增长，也越来越有难度

而我们， 也随着光阴的流逝，慢慢的，一点一点的吸收着生活的精华

渐渐的变得成熟。。。。

啊。。。。毕业并不是结束

而是另一个阶段的开始

开始让我们这些温室里的小花接触那兵分色彩的世界。。。

等着岁月、压力、挑战一一把我们训练成社会精英！

可是现在我连我自己喜欢什么、想要我都分不清

我是什么东西啊？

hmm.....

staying up late alone makes me feel calm , and it helps me to think about myself ...

my life , my feelings , my true-self ....

but there're many many conflicts which i don't have a definite answer for it

I've lost my directions ....

but to make myself calm , the only step i can do is to ignore all the conflicts

concentrate what i need to do right now =)

hmm ......

live life to the fullest !

without feeling regret to every steps you took !

Holidays

holiday started ! hmm ...1 week of raya holiday !

muahahahaha ~

i was slacking , rather studying , LOL !

holidays mean for relax and playing , right ?

so so so , ENJOY as much as i can !

looking forward to some outings ~ hopefully i will have some =)

some of my friends are going to PD , hmm ..but i'm not going =(

wish them have a nice trip ! ^^

oh ya , i have to prepare for interview >.

90% of my classmates get intern with EY !

i'm worrying right now , don't know they will still accept or not

sighs ~ wat can i do ?

after this few days of 100% relaxing , it's time for me to continue my studies ~

but but but , kinda stressful =(

oh ya , i didn't mention about my BF finals mark here

kind of disappointed to me , i din expect to get that marks !

i'd angry myself not doing well enough

but , yea , i cant do anything now , it's OVER !

quoted from Danny , at least i PASSED ....is enough =(

but shouldn't I aim for a better results ?

sighs , i'm really really sick of it ..................

Happie

i PASSED my law mock 2!

wee ^^V so happie ~

now , i can SMILE as much as i can !

=D

SMILE SMILE SMILE SMILE SMILE

finally i can enjoy this week with pretty relax mood !

but sad new was , my EY interview was postponed to next week AGAIN !

hmm ....

well , is a good news ? or bad one ? i don't know how to differentiate also =S

most of my classmates are going to EY tomorrow , GOOD LUCK EVERYONE !

law revision classes started today , and will continue on wednesday ~

i wasn't in the mood to study during revision classes because , i've been fed up of studying dy =(

hope i can still take it =)

attentided the meeting and listened to a talk today ~

hmm ...a nice and fun talk actually =)

Kit is awesome ! haha ! =D

but end up reaching home at 8.30pm ?

woo ~ well , be optimistic , i escaped from the jam ^^

although i am exhausted , but still , i'm staying in front of comp , to blog !

yea , this is me !

now you know who am I !

桃花依旧， 人面全非

同样地点，

同样事项，

但是，

身边的人物却不一样了

感觉如何？

你的笑容灿烂了。。。

*******

手机异常的宁静

温习功课的当儿，回忆起那时候的情景

如今，剩下的就只有

电风扇旋转的杂声

和时针转动的声音

陪伴我读过了漫长的夜晚。。。。。

孤独的感觉，回来了～

*******

我还是逃不过那个宿命吗？

I'm dead

had B&F E-Examination today

hmm ....*crossed finger* hope everything goes fine ! ^^

and what you guess ?

continuing with my law mock 2 paper on monday >.<'''/

why is it a mock 2 ? because i failed my mock 1 !

shittycow la ~ i dun wan to study anymore !

but ...i have no other choices ! GGRrrrrr !

slept for the whole afternoon today ~ (form 2 to .......6 )

woooww ~ it's longer that the sleeping time at night

( kind of abnormal huh ? )

but what i enjoy more is to get around with friends , but ...

sad case ~ is all because of ......EXAM !

recently was really kinda stressful and dun think of studying anymore

i need motivations !!!!!

emotional comes to me AGAIN ! wondering why ?

sighs ~ i just have to accept it , meanwhile ignoring what others doing .......

I dead ! DEAD !!!!!

Revision classes

revision classes for BF started this week ....

but ...well ...now , i don't feel like studying ~

weird ! *finals on saturday*

hmm ~ maybe i enjoyed blogging in the late night more than studying =p

the revision classes were intensive but its quite helpful actually ~

but still I need to put more effort to understand the theory and some regulations =/ *sighs*

tonight will be my study night ~ (the starting time : *ekhem*)

so yea , don't expect i can cover up lots chapters in a night , I'm not productive Zzzzzz

haha =D

some of my friends going to take mock 2 tomorrow ....

wish them luck , all the best people ! =D

p/s law mock 2 on monday ! ohmy~

Mr. Wong

due to the stressfulness on the day before mock exams , i gave up studying =p

and i went out visiting my ex-accounting tutor with teong hoe and kang zi .

Mr Wong ,

wish you healthy and recover soon ~

we saw you becoming thinner and hoary ~

don't stress yourself too much and what you need now is enough rest time =)

we will always remember you as my tutor and we appreciate you <3

Trip to Ernst & Young

We had another firm visiting to Enst & Young on last monday .

without failed , i attended this ! =)

( last time my gastric made me so sick and couldn't attend Deloitte's firm visiting =/ )

hmm .....

nice trip to EY and we had some talks and introductions of EY from all the employees and some of our seniors who are working there ~

**********

From Jan 2011 , I will be doing my internship for 3 months !

argh ~

time flies ~~~~

wonder what hell of life i will be having at that PEAK SEASON !

working hours : 9 am to 12 am ? huh ?

omg !

but i know i will definitely enjoy that !

i'm a workaholic ?

haha =D

Mock exams

sorry people , I've abandon my blog for more than a week !

=(

a busy + tiring + sad week i had

the previous week was the most terrible week i had !

2 mock exams had arranged in the same day !

and how on the earth i can finish 24 chapters in a few days

memorising all the points , understand and able to apply the law concept to all the questions !

and , yea

i

FAILED

my

law paper !

luckily it was a mock paper ....

but this paper is the 1st paper i failed in my life !!!!!!

wth ?

i couldn't accept this when i was looking to the computer screen !

result : 46 points out of 100

what ?

what ?

WHAT ?

WHAAAAAAAT ?

I FAILED !!!!!!!!!!

my mood changes in a second time and i couldn't event study for the next paper , BF !

and i was expecting a fail too ~

i tried very hard to stuff everything in my bloody tiny brain , hoping that it works for the last second !

*click*

OOOoooooopsssss !

I PASS !!!!!!!

thank god !!!!!!!!!!

i'm so so sho shooooo happy that at least i pass one paper , although the mark wasn't satisfied =[

Law and Business & Finance ,

I'll surely conquered you in finals !!!!!!!!

Grrrrrrrr ~

Sending off James

as per title , Thomas and I went to KLIA to send off kah hang =)

it wasn't a crowded one , but instead , a warm goodbye to him ...

kah hang ,

we met up twice in MCD before you left ! LOL

and thanks for your dad's GCB !

took a few photos with him while waiting for him to check in ...

we chat a lot there , and he told us what he brought there!

LOL ~

kah hang , don't worry , you can do your best in India !

and we are waiting for a dentist Dr Leong to visit us ! =D

Goodbye , take care

## 25-8-2010 , KLIA##

p/s :-

你写的那篇“家屏姐” 的帖子，我读了也很感动呢！

只是最近没什么时间， 所以现在才有时间补回给你咯～

加油哦！ 嘉恒！

猛将 --- 嘉恒 ！

这是写给你的，嘉恒

你就快要出国了！

收到这个消息时，就已经plan好要和你好好聚一聚

呵呵， 今天做到了=)

最近回想起我们之间的回忆。。。

其实是蛮零碎的， 但是当我把那些画面拼起来的时候

看见的就是我们成长的旅途。

还记得我们如何认识的吗?

我不记得了， 应该是小学的精英班吧！

==小学篇==

“ 记你一个优点！”

你的口吃更加成为了你的特征！

还记得mdm siah 怎么骂人吗？ 哈哈！

还有啊 。。。。毕业旅行团！

我们是在同一组！

吃饭的时候，还有别组比赛呢！

真的是可爱！

歌咏团， 当然不会忘记的！

你是在bass的吧？

呵呵！ 很怀念以前童真的时刻！

毕业后， 我们有少联络了。。。

==中学篇==

直到你加入了st john 这个大家庭！

这是才是正真的认识你呢！

原来嘉恒很强的！

所以啊-----猛将！

雪欢季！！！！

你，我，和大家共同的美好回忆！

开会， 砍材，搭台，gadget ，画banner , x-team , dancer .......

假期里， 我们每天从早上8事开工，就到旁晚6 时才回家。。。。

这些点点滴滴的回忆，已经烙印在我们的记忆框里了！

从一点都不会的， 最后变成了很pro 的嘉恒！

什么旋转舞台，超级大的banner ，3 个很高的gadget ！

还有当然就是我们4天3夜的camp ！

你给我们带来的欢笑，还有那开朗的精神，真的是帮助了我们很多！

谢谢你， 猛将！

还有还有，我们的主题曲！

《冻结》 和《 说好的幸福呢》 ！

还有要谢谢你帮了QM 蛮多的！

还记得我们去tesco 疯狂购物？

还有就是那个trolley 咯！

哈哈！

还有好多好多说不完的故事。。。。

当我慢慢回忆着的时候， 真的很庆幸自己能够认识到你这位那么好的朋友！

还记得吗， 你说过一句话 “我们已经变成了兄弟姐妹 ！”

（是那时候搭台失败时你说的！ ）

今天， 当我们大家再度毕业，

再重聚的感觉， 一点都不生疏！

这就是所谓的友谊！

大家还是可以很融洽的坐在一起， 谈天！

分享大家的生活点滴=)

你要出国了，我们说要送你机， 你的样子突然变了

看得出你很不舍的我们， 你也说了， 如果我们去， 你就不想走了！

哈哈！ 朋友嘛！ 一定要去的 =)

嘉恒， 要好好照顾自己哦！

回来的时候， 一定还是个猛将！

Weekend

a tiring weekend i had =.=!~

==Saturday==

the plan wasn't a good one for me , but i hope you guys enjoy it

it should be a surprise for 4 of you , but end up *errrr...*

okay ~ sorrrieee , i lack of time duh ~

and seriously need to thanks jack for sacrificing you , LOL

i know you were willing to , but i feel a bit guilt . LOL

wish you have a nice reading section ! haha ^^

thanks to teong hoe for giving me the lunch time !

lastly happy birthday to :-

-jack

-huey yuin

-wei herng

-liang bin

i went to Yu Hua for a dinner with all the teachers from Hulu Langat Selangor !

hmm ...met my dearest teachers !!!!

and had a nice chat with them <3

i miss my teachers so so so much ^^

take care ya =)

==Sunday==

went to james' mini farewell at Mcd

it wasn't a great one too , cause only 9 of us attended .

but least i've done something for him before he left =)

plan to farewell him at KLIA this wednesday

hmmm ...........i will definately miss him =S

he invited me to attend another one at night , but sorry i didn't turn up

i'm too tire and i haven't done my homework ! >.<'''/

kah hang ,

i wish i could make a really big party for you , sad sad =(

wish you all the best in India and you can really do your best !

take good care of yourself , and also keep in touch with us !!!!!

hmm.....

I miss my friends so much

they are so important to me

but i'm not important to them ...

well , the cycle runs this way , i just have to take it

i wish i could back to the old times , where you are there for me

but now , everything changes , included you , me , everyone

life goes on ,

where's my stand right now ?

i should be standing else where at the border ? or at the core?

where should i place myself ?

what should i do to make everything goes well ?

how should i make everything perfects as what i planned ?

why should i trouble myself when the others don't ever take it seriously ?

the feelings will never be the same as what we had last time

everything changes , day to day , year to year ....

will my name appear on the contact list and i'm just one of your long list of contacts ?

i have to train myself to have the patience to take it , again and again

and i know , it would be harder and harder .

well , i will try to retain what i was and what i'm doing .

chillax !

thank you

You text-ed me !

I'm happy .

Thank you for your concern .

but the feelings of stranger comes to me , whenever you are .

maybe because of her ,

i can feel the fear when i talking to you .

sorry for the coldness and unresponsive words .

i knew , you'd care of my feelings .

thank you .

life

last week was my bf pt 2 ...

oh ya ~ we did facebook-ing before the exam starts !

cool huh ? due to the system failure , computer-based turn out to be in hard copy !

well , our class score a quite good result !

but i'm just a lil improve >.

I was supposed to attend a toastmaster meeting yesterday in college till 9 pm !

but i din attend cause it was too late to me ...so sorry , i will attend the next meeting =/

my classmate , Ruyi has left us to The One to study arts =(

Ru yi , all the best there ! ^^

wee ~ this week i have no test ! but it doesn't mean that no need to study !

sigh ~ cause i'm totally lost in both Law and BF ~

copying answer + sleeping during classes were not my fav act , but i did it everyday ><

ohmy~~ holymamacheesycow !!!!!! argh ~

Nie : Jia Ping !!!! you should change yout bad attitude !!!!!!

JP : Yea , i know ....but ....... =(

well !

i have to do better and improve myself , or else i will be eliminated by the society ><'''/

urgh ~

*law of attraction*

== all the best ^^ ==

bro's convo !

happy convo , gor gor =)

oh , it's blogging time !!!

hmm ..what i've done during last week ?

-attended a movie premier with ICAEW members !

wow ! is a nice networking session and bdo batch 2 is friendly and fun ^^

the feeling of all the same group people sitting in a cinema is different =) awesome =DD

-PT2 for law .

well , i passed =S

should work harder ...mock's coming in 2 weeks time ....

argh !!!!!

but BF PT2 is on this coming weekend ....study study study ~

-attended my dear brother's convo !

finally he graduated ! he was so happy that day and handsome too !

love you , gor gor <3

you know , mummy was so happy and contented that you've finally finished your studies and now starting a new life !

wish you all the best ^^

Gastric

oh gosh !

for the very 1st time , gastric killing me like sucks !

=[

H-A-T-E !!!!!

I miss the opportunity to visit Deloitte =[

I dare not to eat any food , any more ~

T.T

i haven't study for my law paper!

i'm going to fail for the 2nd time =[

sucks !!!!!!!

and i have to stop reading others blog =[

argh ~~~~ stop stop stop =[

Omg !!!

another week passed and yea , coming week will be my another pt2 for law paper !!!!!

argh ~ i haven't study law for last week and now , i'm lost somewhere at chap 5 !!!! and the best part is , the pt might going to chap 7 !

omg omg omg !

celebrated kah mun's birthday last friday , it was a blast huh ? haha =D

hope she enjoyed her great day ^^

hmm .....here are my to-do-list :-

-gonna finish a speech but thank god , it has postponed to next next week =)

-gonna type out a cover letter , prepare personal details , photos ....

-shop for formal outfits

-prepare law pt

-study for BF too

-moral assignment

-going to attend a movie section with ICAEW members

-wash my car ( myvi is so so so dirty =[ )

-practice my baking skill ><''/

-shop for books ~

oh gosh !

I'm a dead fish now ...

and seriously , i need to sleep ~

Zzzzzzzz

Night =)

oh ya , I'm recovering =)

Disclosed

thanks for the post you wrote for me

but well , here are the words for you too .

you knew that for such a long time , u aren't put down everything

but now , you declare that you already let it go

and this sentence , you repeated for don't-know-how-many-times

you will say this out , cause you haven't ensure that whether you are or you aren't

but just to make yourself /convince yourself to believe that you are okay .

in fact , you are notsookay .

from the acts that yourself doing now , you will know that , something going on now is super weird

but still you want it to be in this way .

well , to declare here that , i'm totally okay without your influence .

thing comes and goes everyday , i couldn't just stay there and go round with you .

my life is not special for him or you , it's for me, myself .

you are the one who majoring everything , well , and i don't want to care anymore .

i'm going on with my own track and no one can bring me out of the track .

you want the game to be over or continue , is up to you .

but i'm not going to play around , but I'm still there to answer any of your questions you want .

that's all I can do =)

Pt and sickness

my pt ....

well , i passed my Law paper >.<'''/

but BF is much more better =)

i know i have to work more on law but i really don't know what're my problems >

i just cannot understand them well and remember all the exceptions =(((

and this week is totally "holymamahceesycow" week !!!!!!

my sickness never go away !!!!!

argh ~~~~ it comes and goes , again and again !!!!!

i hate this !!!!

sorethroat , cough !!!!

i'm going to die because of non-stop coughing ~ =[

the more i want to concentrate in class , the more sleepy I am ~

yiiiish ! god bless me then ^^

PT1 Law and BF

omg omg omg !

tomorrow having PT1 for both Law and BF !!!!!

total 8 chapters !!! and we started our class for 2 weeks only >.

so so so many things to memorise and understand ! >.<

argh argh !!!!!!

well .....shouldn't i be studying now ????

oooopppss !

*shh*

sorethroat and headache !!!! YOU go away !!!

don't attack my body cells !!!!!

CFAB-ians , good luck to us !!!!

掙扎

朋友， 和你談了好多好多

第一次， 談天可以令我回想起我的過去，

啊。。。亂！

除了亂之外， 還有一絲絲令人心麻的感覺。。。

你說的很對， 你也很清楚我現在是什麼樣的情況

在我還不能搞清楚的當兒， 其實你已經把事情的全部都看得一清二楚了

我感到很愧疚， 很對不起你

是真的， 我真的不知道要怎麼去處理這下事情

你說過， 我從來不會終止每一個人對我的期望

對， 因為我真的不想要傷害你們其中一個

但是自己也知道這樣的方法是不對的。。。

太對不起大家了。。。

而你， 是當中最特別的一個

我不知道怎麼去形容

但是你應該也懂吧。。

你說對了太多太多

連我自己也不想面對的問題， 一一從你口中拋了出來

我真的不會答， 因為我知道我的答案， 傷害的不只是你， 而是我自己。

如果他回來， 我會怎樣？

如果有一天他做同樣的東西， 我會怎樣？

如果那個人不是你， 我會怎樣反應？

如果次序掉亂了， 情況是什麼？

如果。。。。

如果。。。。。。。

太多了，

這些問題， 我很不想回答

但是你知道， 只要我回答， 我就不會在繼續掙扎

繼續讓自己辛苦下去

這些答案， 還有用嗎？

你現在已經有了答案對吧

我不值得你在為我付出了。。。

不是一個值得投資的對象

太多掙扎， 太複雜的關係

我不知道這樣的情況會持續多久

但是我也知道我不開始新的生活， 我是不會走出這個困局

可笑的就是， 我不想在被傷害了。。。

我也不想對不起任何一個人。

當兩個都很理智的人在一起的時候

很多很多問題就會出現

而當我在問你那些奇怪的問題時

你也知道那是我多餘的憂慮。。。

安全感， 就是那麼的重要

我不能夠給你。。。

我也不能從任何一個人身上的到

因為問題就是在我身上

我本身就是一個問題。。。

被傷害的，

就是有了個陰影。。。。

那種痛的感覺， 令人害怕

那種被指指點點的感覺， 令人感到疼痛

那種被諷刺， 被攻擊的感受， 有誰會明白？

而我， 現在也知道

原來我一直都在欺騙著自己

在以為自己能夠接受新生活的時候， 才發現原來我是有問題的

問題根本就不是你， 他， 還是其他人， 就是我自己。。。。

他， 還是佔據了我心裡一定的地位。。。

你也說的對， 如果沒有蘋果的掉落，那麼就不會有地心引力的發現

同樣的， 如果我們不去嘗試， 那麼就不知道之情將會是怎樣。。。。

矛盾， 掙扎中。。。

我根本不知道自己想怎麼辦。。。。

對不起。。。。

Review of the week

hmm ....

i know i din blog for a long time , sorriee !

so , what you want to know about me huh ?

hmm.....college life would be the same ...law and business finance

oh ya , i haven't say anything about BF lecture .

our lecturer is a nice nice person ! and she's hilarious !!!

btw , BF is so much to memorize !

i dunno what i going to do to catch up , except to study and study >.<'''''

I DON'T LIKE STUDYING =(

well , back to my class .

yeap ! we had a surprise bday party for celia and reuben !

but , flour war instead of party , i guess ^^

luckily , i'm not "died" in the so-called-flour war !

happy birthday , celia and reuben !

CFAB awesome !!! =D

attended a meeting with cfab-ians at Starbucks @ The Gardens

we are going to have a toastmaster club ^^V

GREAT !

[ps , adam praise me !!!! ^^V happy !!!! ]

had a long long chatting with weng yin that day ...hmm ...is a heart-to-heart talking

[ i nearly bang to the toll gate and i almost lost my car park ticket !]

a simple yet meaningful week i had .

==good night==

*** having PTs on the coming saturday!***

calm !

yes !

i think i've succeed to ignore everything ....

*clapss*

i know you're trying hard to make some noise

but ...

look

i'm calm enough !

friends ,

I'm totally okay !

Jog For Hope

WHAT?

Jog For Hope is a charity run organized by the Tree Huggers Club of Taylors College Sri Hartamas. It is a fund-raising event, and all the funds collected will be directed to charity bodies.

Jog For Hope 2010 aims to
1. raise funds to build basic education facilities for the children in the village of Bario,Sarawak.
2. contribute to the causes Malaysia Paws Animal Welfare Society (PAWS).

WHEN?

Date: 18th July 2010
Time: Registration starts at 6.00AM, flag off at 8.00 AM

WHERE?

Flag off: Entrance of Taylors College Sri Hartamas
End point: Taylor’s College Sri Hartamas
Distance covered: 6 km and 9km depending on the category selected

WHO?

This event is open to all.

The categories* are :
1. School (Males) -6km
2. School (Females)-6km
3. College/Uni (Males)-6km
4. College/Uni (Females)-6km
5. Open (Males)**-9km
6. Open (Females)**-9km

* There will be a registration fee of RM 15 for the School category, RM20 for the College category, and RM30 for the Open Category. The sum of money collected will all be directed towards charity.
** Open Category: Applicable to all participants!

HOW?

Registration can be done in 3 ways :

1. registration on that day itself
2. registration through your college / high school
3. registration at spots mentioned.

For more information :
http://jogforhope.wordpress.com/registration/

PS : If you wish to support this event, but does not wish to run, we are also accepting cash donations. (:
--

Recruiters! ♥

We are also looking for recruiters to help out with our event!

what are recruiters? what do they do?

PLEASE CLICK ON THIS LINK FOR MORE INFORMATION (:

http://jogforhope.wordpress.com/recruiters/

捐血

嗯。。。。。

好像回去捐血哦！！！

hmm .....

去年的捐血运动， 啊啊啊～ 好怀念哦！！！

哼 ！

他永远就只剩下可以令我怀念的地位了！

捐血！捐血！

别误会

我就只是想要捐血罢了^^

如果以后有机会， 一定会去捐血 ！

不说你不知，其实捐血对身体是健康的！

大家请记得， 助人为快乐之本！

捐血！！！

Law class

today was our 1st class of law / 1st day of class for sem 2 !

er ......law ....law ...law ...

quite confusing actually

but is more on understanding and analysing ...story telling [ according to Ms Pushpa ]

urgh ~ okay ..i should pull my socks up ..work haaaarder !!!!!

okay ...

1st day of class should be exciting right ?

but is a bit bore + sleepy ....

or maybe I'm still not used to it ...

I talked not more than 10 sentences today !!!! >.

wish i could talk more ..but i cant ! haha !

I need some time to warm up [lame !]

oh ya !!!!!

kah mun changed her hairstyle ! LOL

i really cant recognized her !!!!

1st i saw her walking to me , while smiling ..

then i was wondering : who is this gal smiling at me ...why her face so familiar one !

haha !!!!!

OKAY , it's Kah Mun !

haha !!!!

[ sorry , kah mun ] xD

another scene is , our class combined with the BDO group students ,

which means we are having a bigger class now compared to last sem ...

about 30+ students in a class ....

I miss the old times ....

I miss muzzakir !!!! [ he had gone to INTEC ] =(

hmm ..tomorrow i'm having another law class !!!

er .......i should study now right ? if not ............

I will just wondering in the cloud when lecturer is explaining =.='''

Filter

listening songs

staying alone late at night / early in the morning

hmm .....

nothing interrupt my mind

silence

keeps my mind calm

makes me think

mmm.....

crying couldn't solve it

blaming couldn't help

what i need is time

time heals everything ?

I need my brain to function

function as a filter

filters everything that hurts me ....

*** filtration in process***

mmm ......

feel fresh now ?

yeap ...

then ?

sleep now !!!!!!

good night !!!!

Review

3 weeks holidays had already over ...

class will start tomorrow !

hmm ....

this was really a bore holiday i had ...

Genting trip would be my only memory ...

thank you , guys and gals .

hmm ..went up to broga hill last saturday again ...

== nothing else to elaborate on that ==

chatted with KA just now ...

i thought of many things ...

all these feelings i haven't tell anyone before , but him

but i'm still lost and confused ...

i wish i can be strong and tough .

i know i can , i can .

forcing myself to fake a smile isn't a good one

but this would be the only thing i can do

and to blindly believe in myself that i can

how stupid am i , huh ?

there're so many things that we cant control

but yet we have to accept it ...duh ~

just like to be myself more than to follow the others ....

forgive me ..i'm not as what you expected ....

the feeling of insecure is always with me ...

I couldn't know when i will get back my sense of security ...

sighs

why the cycle just couldn't stop ...

please la ..nobody wants that to become like that ...

sighs

friends , let go everything will be the only choice

and you

stop saying that

and playing safe

you're out of my sight

what am I doing right now is none of your business

let go everything

let us go

please ...

Genting trip

^^V finally i came here to post on my Genting trip .

due to laziness , this post has been postponed for 2 days .

sorrriieee =(

27 June 2010 (off to Genting)

okay ...early in the morning , take KTM with LB to MV , to meet up with CJ .

then he picked us up to 1U . Sorry CJ .

meet up with all the cfab-ians at Old Town .

bus depart from 1U at 11.00 pm .

all the way up the genting hill was quiet ....hmm ...haven't warm up yet , maybe .

queuing for the skyway (cable car) was a torture to me ..luggage ..yiish ....

me and danny are afraid of the cable car ...so ...*breathe breathe*

finally we reached ..and then checked in , settled room problem ...

me , carmen , shih xuan , jie yi , CJ , danny , and reuben are in the same room ^^V

We went makan at the foodcourt in First world . after that , outdoor theme park !!!!

but the weather wasn't good . it rains and was misty ..so we couldn't play . tooks few photos and we went back to our room .

have fun teasing danny , danny PAPA !!!! ^^

waited the rain stop and the weather was suitable , me , carmen , Shih Xuan , Jie yi and CJ went out to have fun again ^^V

I guess we are the lucky ones , why ?

because every games that we played ,we didn't need to wait for long queues !!!!! hahax ^^

so lucky !!!!

haha ~

haha , sg rejang flume ride was fun ,but as the results , we got wet >.<''' freezing !!!!

actually I was fear of that also , but carmen happened to be more *akhem *

haha ~ LOL !!!!!!

finally , me , CJ and carmen went for Private Ship , but Xuan and Jie yi didn't want to play . so they took photo for us ^^ thank you .

after theme park activity , we met up with Danny and reuben , and head towards first world hotel to have our dinner .

chit-chatted a lot ..^^

for your info , 27 June was a date for world cup lovers ( germany VS Englang)

so so so ...i followed the crowed to hotel loby and watch for that match .

hahas , for my very 1st time , enjoying the atmosphere there ^^

midnight , waken up by the guys , and watched another match at mamak ...

i don't like the place there ..is smoky ....

but we didn't stay there for the whole match , only for 45 minutes and we went back to hotel .

=== good night ===

28 June 2010

climbed to the other bed to sleep (sorry CJ )

cause , my neck was supremely pain >.<'''

blurred for the whole morning till 11 am

haha ~ old town for breakfast .

again , we are in the same table (roommates)

hahas ^^

today was an unplanned day .... so so so ...jie yi and xuan went for buy tickets for us and shopped around in first world .

me and carmen decided to walk around in first world ( to visit another starbucks) while the others are playing cards and having coffee time ^^

**akhem akhem **

i was pranked !!!!! aaaaaaaaargh ~~~

fine , it was fun ^^

it was embarrassed to say it out loud here ...by myself @.@

i received a called form "Sunway-TES" and being informed that i have to switch to batch 3 , because I was offered a national scholarship , and i'm going to get a car and a bungalow .

hahas , actually , this prank call was from AIRIL !!!! LOLx ....

thank you , airil , muzz and darren !!!!!

although it was a prank , but it made my day ^^

we met up with them at the brigde . watched ip man with them ^^

It was a nice show!!!! like the child at the end part of the movie .

after that , continued with A-team !!!

It was indeed a hilarious and awesome movie .^^

planned to watch toy story 3 with muzz them , but , i'm too tired after 2 movies .

went for dinner with carmen , CJ , Crys , Rueben and hang ee.

then ...back to our room .

spent the whole night at the other room with everyone , playing KING , truth or dare .

proudly announced that the guys in our class are all turning gays ...hahas!

many secrets revealed that night , but "what happens in genting stays in genting right? "

haha ~ no worries .

the day ended at 4.30 am ^^

=== good night ===

29 June 2010

this was the last day of our trip

old town for breakfast again and we lepak at the park until it was time to back .

tooks lots of photo there ^^

3.30 pm , cable car again >.<'''

but this time was more fun , because we were singing along untill we reached ^^

hahas , everyone was tired and sleep in the bus .

sharp at 5 , we reached 1U .

ended our genting trip .

thank you CJ for sending me and lb back .

sorry for the inconveniences .

This trip was really a nice trip and we know each other well after the trip !

love cfab-ians !!!!

thank you everyone ! you're just awesome !!!!!!

( photos in FB ) checked it out , and you will know i enjoy my trip ^^

昨夜

昨晚是很难度过的一晚。。。

我从来都没试过那种感觉。。。

酸酸的，疼疼的，刺刺的，

但是却没有少少的苦。。。

想了好久。。。

头脑的思绪很乱。。。

很久都没有认真地想过。。。

很烦，很累。。。

顿时，泪水流了。。。

流眼泪的那一刻，是痛的。。

眼泪流了不久，

痛的感觉没有的。。。

但是心脏却不停的在抖。。。

抖得频率，更是不正常的！

泪水还是不停的流，

脑子想了好多好多。。。

那些故事，真的是如你所说的，原来我一直都没有发现到。。。

故事的情节原来可以那么的恐怖，自己发觉时，已经太迟了

真的太迟了。。

现在才知道真正的阴谋，现在才了解，原来我是那么的笨。。。

太笨了。。。自己正伤害着自己都不知觉。。。

迟钝吗？

我能够原谅我自己吗？

哈。。。太可笑了。。。

你设的圈套实在太完美了。。。完美的我无法不参与一份。。。

原来，还没有成熟的是我，天真的也是我。。。

低估了所有的事情。。。

在整理着这一切一切零碎地片段时，

眼泪还是流着的但是心疼得感觉没有了。。。

或许。。。麻木了。。。

我知道自己应该要怎么做

不会在逃避，不会在怪自己

因为我明白，错不在自己身上

一切都是天的安排。。。

安排他出现在我生命里，也安排你们在我身边支持我 <3

朋友，

你说的每一句话，我都会记得。。。

在和你谈天的过程中。。我学到了。。。我不应该那么的"好人"。。。

哈哈~

放心吧，希望今晚我能够入睡。

原来已经过了半年，原地踏步，太累了。。。

不停的麻木自己，其实不是最好的办法。。。

所以，不需要再面对你，是我的幸运。。。

而。。。

认识了你，是我最大的幸福^^

冥冥中注定，你是我生命中的路人甲

但是你却没发现到，启于你，也毕于你。

谢谢你。

I know you hxxe me so much XD

isn't a good thing to hold things for a long time

and i'd already let it down ...

but why am I still longing here ?

**because somebody always trying not to let me go ~**

somehow , we cant manage to stop what others thinking right ?

uh ~ i'll just ignore it...

and continue my life ,

enjoy my life ,

without knowing you still HATE me ....

Holidays

hmm ...a week of my holidays had passed ....

what have I done ?

= attended St John AGM

= attended 5C gathering

nothing else ~

hmm ...thought of a lots of things recently ...

something good , but something bad too , uh ~

st john's agm'd recalled memories of mine

my life in st john , my best friends ....

awww ..i miss them so much !

5C gathering wasn't a grand one , just a mini party

everyone enjoy chatting with each other

updating everyone .

special thanks to ZQ and TH to attend

saw their tired face , sorry guys =(

the coming holidays , i'll be going genting , but it's on weekend .

so ya , waiting for the trip !

bored bored holidays ....

but i think it's the right time for me to relax my mind

and decide whether i'm taking the correct route

=)

Never

It would be a nice day for me if i can ignore that ...

but somehow it just cant go away form my brain =(

*stop stop*

*don't think about that *

but

undeniable

you'd make my life sucks !

because of that

I have to face the consequences !

..........

the heart-ache i'm having now you couldn't know

because you are the one that make it worse

Shattered

...................

tonight will be a very long night to me

but definitely is a good night for you

='(

GREEN !!!

wee^^V

new background !

no more BLACK or BLUE !

it's GREEN !!!!! G-R-E-E-N !!!

*winks*

haha !!!!

green is good for eyesight ?

isn't it?

thanks for visiting my bloggie ^^

happy holiday to all my friends ~

take care ya ^^

happiness , sadness and loneliness ...

Do you think I'm a quiet person ?

or

maybe can say as , I don't like to talk ?

I don't know why I just like to be alone sometimes ....

especially when I'm emo-ing

because I can be my true self ...is not faking my characters

sometimes , the silent make me feels better , but sometimes it doesn't

It makes me feel worse ...so what can i do ?

it happens too , that I talked a lot ...

that's when I'm hyper ....yeah , youknowme

I miss the last time I was crazy , laughing my head off with my friends ...

I wonder when is it ...it seems to be N years ago ?

I miss my friends , I miss them a lot a lot ...

College friends do make me laugh , especially the jokers in my class

they're just fantastic ...AWESOME !

I don't know why my happiness went missing ...

just because I'm not taking good care of it ?

where are u ? can I hug u ? can u come back to me ?

I think numbers had chase them away from my life ...

and I know ...I couldn't find them back ?

so ...I have to create the new one ?

but I don't know how's the way to create happiness ~

happiness doesn't friend with sadness or loneliness ...

so now i'm having sadness or loneliness , so happiness won't come back to me ...

uh ~but I love both of them so much ....

how how how ?

when the sadness and loneliness gone , happiness will come back

is just the timing problems .

=)

High expectations

high expectations mean to disappoint us ?

hmm .....

but it can also motivate us to move on ....

so ?

there're always to have 2-ways perspectives in a every issue

just to see that how we can balance and make it through .

but to me , somehow in this case ,

high expectations make me feel worse over my results ....

it makes me sad , and stress when I couldn't reach that level which I aim for it ...

so does it mean that I should lower down my expectations or so-called aim ?

I don't see that in this way ...but it's another way round

so ? means?

It means , I can lower down the expectations , but this is not that I'm scared of failure

It's just another way to motivate me , and make my expectations more realistic...

once I have achieved , then I can start to aim high and score high !

somehow , I hope it works to me .... =)

Condolences

this post is for you , my dearest friend .

hmm ....you are not around here now ...

and you're on your way to home town right now.

this is not the 1st time I write post to you ...

but this is rarely short post from me to you .

is just a note that :-

I'm always here for you .

I can understand your feeling ,

be tough , take care of your mum .

You text-ed me , my shoulders is always with you .

R.I.P to your aunt .

updates ~

hmm ...late night again ^^

updates updates !

saturday was my accounting finals ...it's okay for me .

then ....

sunday morning went jogging with qian , ka and sze ern .

quite fun with them ^^

then ..monday ...results is out ...

and i'm not satisfied with it ....

but still i have to accept it right ?

fine ! it's over ! i have no other choice to not accept it ....=S

let it be ! mm .....

my 1st week of holiday is started .....

i ain't bore ...

although i've been staying home for these 2 days

but i think i like staying at home , to have enough rest =)

rest make me feel calm =)

Accounting final

argh ~ exam is coming tomorrow !

wee ~~~~ shall I be happy or not ? O.o

anyway , accounting final's on tomorrow !

wish me luck people !!!!!!

good luck to all the CFAB-ians !!!!

good night everyone !

somehow

somehow , I wish we are not friends

somehow , I wish we don't know each other

somehow , I wish I don't know you

somehow , I wish I won't fall in love with you

but ....

somehow , it happened =(

somehow , it will end !!!!

原來要放下一個人是不簡單的

有一种暗恋叫坚持，

它带给两个人无法摆脱的辛苦；

有一种暗恋叫放手，

它虽然伤透了一者，

却带给另一个人无比的幸福……

原來要放下一個人是不簡單的

事情發生了已經超過一年了。。。

還以為能夠放下

但是原來是不可以的

只要你的一句話，就能夠影響我那麼大， 證明了你的存在對我的影響。。。

啊～～～～

慘了。。。怎麼辦？

為了你，值得嗎？

哎喲！

覺得自己好傻， 但是沒辦法。。。

有時真的很想念那時候。。。

和你在一起的每一分，每一秒。。。

你替我解決問題的時候，

我們一起溫習功課的時候。。。。

如今就是我的回憶。。。

唉。。。。算了， 至少是美好的回憶 =)

謝謝你。

你最近怎麼了。。。

我們有時候還會通短訊，

只有你關心的話語，

但是就是沒有你的近況。。

算了吧～

以你的性格，

你是不會說的，不強逼。。。

好好照顧自己吧！

別为了一个你喜欢的人，而改变自己，让她/他对你倾心……

虽 然，你得到了一个爱人，但是你却失去了你自己……

人生不是投资，别把专属你的本性投资在情场上，

因为你并不晓得，你就站在离破产不远的地方……

Random

Hi everyone !

hmm ...

1st of all , apologize that i've changed my blog address without informing all of you , sorry .

check the time ~ owh , is only 2.30 am , so early huh ...

well , guess what am I doing now ? BLOGGING !!!!!

haha !

shouldn't it be studying ?

sorry la ...I'm not that type of hardworking students \>.<'''/

so ..what should i post here tonight ????

erm ........

okay , let's talk about my unhealthy lifestyle :-

# sleep late at night

# wake up late in the morning

# don't eat breakfast

# seldom exercise

# eat a lot of junk food

# don't eat proper meal

# bath late

# etc etc .....

(extracted form zhi qian ) LOL

i'll try to exercise at least twice a week ,

eat in proper time ,

and wake up early in the morning

but

i'll still stay up late at night , hehe ^^

hmm ....next , talk about my CFABs:-

My final for accounting paper is on this saturday ....

is computer based - MCQ question

and because of the Mock and PT2 sucks results , everyone is burring their brain into the accounting text .

me as well ....ahhh lahh~~~~~~

feel so lazy to study ...no mood dy la ...aiyor ...

and one of our classmate , Muzakkir is going to leave us T.T

our class will lose 1 joker ~~~~ LOL !

CJ , is so confusing now , because of some reasons ...

hope he can go through it ... =)

oh ya .....

BM result is out , Mr Tan said there are 3 people in our batch failed ...

oooooowh ~~~~~~ i don't want my name's on the list ...

god bless ~~~~

I think that's all for the updates on CFABs ^^

***these days are really stressful during the class =(***

moving on ....to my holiday plan :-

after my final , i'll be having a 3 weeks holiday !!!!

wee ~~~~~

so so so ......ask me out !!!!

-1st , i'll attending a majlis anugerah thingy

-then , my 5C gathering ..... (reply me !!!!)

-and the most exciting trip --- class trip to Genting !!! LOL !

-

-

-

-

i wish to have more ...so , please ...don't dump me at home ....I'll be bored to death ~

random post shouldn't be so long ...haha ! bye everyone !

midnight

argh ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

is 12.30 am now !

for the very 1st time , I'm going to bed at this so-called early midnight !!!!

^^V wee ~~~~

cause i can't stand with my freakin-flu virus !

=.=''' hate flu la ~~~~

shooo ~~~~ go away !!!!!!!!

okay~~~~~

First , wish all my A-levels friends in Taylors good luck in your exams !!!!!

@ Hyuin ,

@Wherng ,

@Wkee ,

@Kann ,

@Lxin

then , wish all my classmates are not tooooo-stress over the exams !

next , wish the seniors can pass their exams with flying colours !

moving on , wish CJ can stay with us !

lastly , wish I'm happy as last time =)

good night everyone ^^

I love the silent night so much <3

Disappointment

hmm ...last week .....terrible week la ...

why ? exams !!!!!

haiz ~

1stly , BM (business maths) final exam ....

but guess what ?

haha ! I screwed it !

the examination hall is feakin cold ,

the test paper format is slightly different from what we did last time ,

the questions is damn hard and time-consuming !!!

and the worst part is ...

we're given the marking scheme straight after the paper were collected =(

haiz ....fine ....my answer and the marking scheme are not tally at all ...so so so ? sad .....

emo for the whole day ..

and I think I'm going to fail this paper !!!!!

for my very 1st time ...the 1st paper i failed (maybe) is BM ..oh my ~

god bless me ...I'm not going to retake this paper anymore !!!!!!

Mr tan , please pass me ......

then then then ....because of the sad case happen on that day ...

so I should study for my accounting mock exam and english final for the next day !!!!

okay ....I'm going to skip english 1st ..cause accounting is more important ...

study study study ...

but .....

i only score 70+ in mock ! but everyone could score so high !!!! even 97.5 !

oh my gosh !!!!!!!

I think there's something wrong with me ....

I'm so upset about that !!!!!

then proceed to the next paper ...english 2 final ...

stupid me ! I did lots of careless mistake !!!!!

I couldn't forgive myself ....

and i screwed up the essay !!!!!!!

MY ENGLISH SUCKS !!!!!!!!

i don't know what other words can be used to describe that ....

IDIOT me !!!!!!!!

Don't feel like studying again....cause I've lost all my confidence ....

disappointed =(

### fingers crossed , i can pass my exams .....###

The rules I should know

stop complaining yourself as you are already the best .
stop saying something that's not fact
and assumed people will just react to you just to comfort you .




if you have your aim , go for it !
but don't try to inform the whole world that how pro you are ....
is not good if it actually hurts the other .
think twice whether what should be told and what shouldn't .




don't show up your too-depressing-look as you are not the only one ...
because your super-depressing look will just make the others feel worse...




we should aim high , work hard ,
but not too humble or too ego ......
there's always a limit , try to figure where the limits are
and where shall we place our limits .

random post to remind myself not to be like above .......because i hate these characteristic
and i don't want myself to be like that !

random-emo-post

thought of 1 question yesterday :-

" if I am in a trouble , and I need to call for help , who should I call , assumed that I cant contact my family members ..... "


i couldn't find an answer ...
who shall i call ? er .....you ? he ? she ? or ?


someone will surely help , but they couldn't help , why ?
too far away from me , no transport , not around ....
but will some others that are near to me , got transport , always available ...
but .......mostly they will have some others reasons that excuse them ..


so so so so ?
who can i look for ????


suddenly i feel that i'm such a fool that i don't have any promising friend ...
maybe i have , but they are always not around me ....


recalled and analyzed everyone around me ...
i'll still prefer them , yea , youknowwho
because they are the one that always get together with me
and we had go through hard times together last time ...
i miss them so much ...


whenever i have problems , they will surely be the 1st to support and help me
but now , everyone is going to study everywhere ...
we seldom meet each other ....
i miss them , a lot ......the St Johns ....




people ~ can you hear me ? i miss you all .




whenever something happen or an event , i will probably be the one people less worried ...
why ?
because i can settle myself , transportation problem , or whatever ....


but somehow .......i don't like this assumption....
too independent ? haha ! you are wrong !
tough enough to face everything myself ? haha ! you're wrong again !


I'm not ...I'm sure that I not that type of person
but if you assumed that ...continue with your assumption ....
I will just try my best to act tough ? maybe this is what everyone should do ....



being born in Jan wasn't a good thing .....because you will just to be assumed as you know everything .....




i'm glad that i have my lovely brother ....
my family background makes me to be a tough one , and also the independent one
this is what my brother taught me when I was only standard 3 ...



somehow you will ask me , why I'm so obey to my brother ...
the reason behind is , he is the one I trust the most and I can rely on the most ...




the feeling being left behind ain't good ....

if you are facing a problem , but your friend just walked away and assumed that you can solve yourself .....

if you're having a hard time , but your friend just throwing some words to you and assumed that you can get better later ....

if you're having some negative thoughts ,but your friend just saying that "it is okay" or "not a big deal" , do you think it helps ?

if you're in such a condition , you rather you're alone or with a gang of friend , bull-shit-ing every moment ...which will you choose ?


i don't know how to choose and which to choose ......
life is full of choosing ?
haha ! so i should choose to end this post now ......

Stress ?

hmm ....i've let this blog grow grasses for a long long time ...
sorry bloggie =(

am I so busy till i don't have time to blog ?
O.O , i don't think so , just that i don't feel like blogging ....
sometimes emo ,
sometimes moody ,
mood swings every second....every moment ...


is time to prepare for my exams , Exams , exams , exams ~~~~~~
but i haven't switch on my exam mood , or study mood ...
just lazying every moment >.<''''
Procastinating every work that should be done =(
tomorrow going to be my English 2 presentation .
am I prepared? haha ! maybe yes , maybe not ...
just do it spontaneously ? dunno ~~~~~


BM final is on thursday ...
and today i got my BM mock exam marks ...
don't satisfied with my marks !
everyone can score ! but i did lots of mistake !!!!!!
don't know what happen to me !!!! haiz .....
don't have mood to study anymore .......


Accounting is killing everyone in the class ...
and i shall start it tonight ..but most probably i will just find an excuse and ......Zzzzz


why do I feel stress recently ?
actually i don't feel like studying , but why i can feel the stress is surrounding me !!!!!
urrrgh !!!!!!! i'm going to be crazy !!!!!
duh ~~~~~~